Akiba Maid Sensou - Episode 3 - 10 Second Anime

Ranko needs to “take a dive” at an underground fighting arena, but can she pull her punches?

Episode 3 – “The Worth of a Maid’s Fist and Pancreas!”

Hmm.

Akiba Maid War continues to cross off items on its checklist of organized crime stories. In only three episodes, the anime showed us provocation from dishonor, dues collection, loan sharks, gambling, knockoff merchandise, and prize fight fixing. The debt-ridden Oinky Doink Café has already crushed four gangs. That’s if you count the toy manufacturer as another gang in Akihabara. In organized crime, violence is an equal asset to capital. Legitimate industries rely on the state’s monopoly on violence to enforce its interests. So mobs and local governments engage in gang warfare over turf! I’m waiting to see any police presence in this show.

I’m so glad the censored character in the Akiba Maid War opening credits quickly made her debut. I hope to see an unobscured version in the next episode. Ranko needed backup muscle, so Zoya immediately increased the Oinky Doink Café’s worth. They don’t have capital, but they do have the capacity for violence. I doubt Tenchou can find a way to make money from violence outside a fight club. I wonder what Otaku Collector will ask of them in the next episode.

Heh.

The prologue for Akiba Maid War shows Ranko beat up in a boxing ring. How did we get here? Let’s find out! And back to the present timeline. A Russian mixed martial artist reports disappointing news about a missing item. Aw. Nagomi bonds with Ranko when she gives her a hair accessory. Cute! That put Nagomi in a happy mood. Her flyer-passing comrade Nerula noticed immediately. I’m still watching for Nerula’s eventual betrayal or tragedy. Akiba Maid War’s darkly cynical streak points to betrayal! Huh. Look at the coded language. A group of toy manufacturers rates higher than Akiba Maids. Do the games, media, and manga publishers act like gangs in Akiba Maid War too?

Gross. The figurine boss with a receding hairline acts like a disgusting otaku. Uh. I mean, he shows the proper amount of affection for his 2D waifu! Geez. Blatant foreshadowing of a future switcharoo with a counterfeit replica. Eep. Don’t pick a fight with Ranko! Ah. The MMA maid stopped Ranko from throwing a punch. They have a philosophical difference over an Akiba Maid’s qualities. These two are destined to butt heads.

Aw crap. What will the Otaku Collector do to Tenchou now? Ranko gives good water service. Too good! Shoot. The Otaku Collector notices that Ranko is a fighter! What kamikaze job will he make her do? Ooh! The MMA Maid is a Russian girl who has wanted to become a cute maid. Inauspicious. Tenchou made a dramatic pose and an Ashita no Joe reference about an organized prized fight. Shiipon took a picture! The last episode had an underground casino in a nondescript building. This time, Akiba Maid War has an underground fighting arena inside a cute maid café. I don’t believe The Akiba Fluffy n’ Sweet Club has anything fluffy or sweet in its bowels. Choking out a bitch is not a sweetly fuafua image! Nagomi’s naivete suffers again. There it is. Ranko needs to fight for money! But she’ll enter the ring with Nagomi’s adorable hair tie.

Explanations. Tenchou will get money from the Fluffy n’ Sweet Club owner if Ranko loses at the appointed time against the club champion. Knowing Akiba Maid War’s history and Tenchou’s terrible luck, we should expect an equally dreadful result. Plot threads combine at the underground fight club. The boss lady wants to buy that rare figure from the creepy toy maker. The regulars in the betting crowd expect things from their local champion. Denied! Ranko knows straight punches are the foundation of martial arts! The figurine relates to a fighting anime, so everything is thematically connected. Ack! Ranko won with one punch! She was supposed to lose in the third round! The stoic maid doesn’t know how to pull her punches.

Whoa! Boss Lady wants that figurine! She’ll shoot a punk and make another deal. What will Tenchou promise now? Ah. Akiba Maid War gives its take on rigged fights. Ranko will lose in the last round of the final fight to maximize wagers. But who will she fight? Yay! It’s the Russian girl with opinions about Akiba maids. Boss Lady says the Russian is a deficient maid who can’t smile. But she can fight because of her military experience. Is this not a description of Ranko? Ooh. Ranko thinks the uniform makes the maid, but the Russian MMA Maid thinks the maid makes the uniform!

Gang shenanigans happen after this. Ranko dumps a body, finds a doll, writes a note, and the figurine boss’s minions see it happen! Ack! The Oinky Doink Café maids want to make side bets. But they need to use their internal organs as collateral for loans! Wow. The world of Akiba Maid War has vending machines for these organ exchanges. Shiipon will miss that pancreas if she loses it...

Ranko’s opponents suck. The Russian MMA Maid, who still hasn’t given us her name, also mows down her adversaries. There is no honor among thieves, even Akiba Maids. Boss Lady framed Ranko for the death of the Toy Boy! “A dead maid tells no tales” is the rule in Akiba Maid War. Zoya! That’s the name of the Russian Kickboxing Maid. I love these seemingly trivial scenes with the Oinky Doink Maids. Ranko wanted to tell Boss Lady about the toy she found, but she had to leave a written note instead. Plot point! 

Let’s get ready to rumble! Ooh. Zoya drew first blood. So far, Ranko follows the plan. No counterstrikes! Aw. Nagomi is so earnest. Look at the book she’s reading, “MMA 101!” Not a nut shot, Nagomi. Ah. Ranko is measuring Zoya’s speed and strength. The bell saved Zoya from Ranko’s countermove. Now Ranko can take Zoya’s punches to the final round. And we’re caught up to the Akiba Maid War prologue scene. Ranko is gassed, but there are two more rounds to go.

Oh, now Zoya starts talking. Ranko will not let the Russian fighter disparage her maid colleagues. Uh oh. Zoya knocked Ranko’s cute hair tie off. Smack! Okachimachi the Panda had enough of Tenchou’s corner coaching. Yumechi found the genuine figurine in Nagomi’s purse. So, how does this end? Double knockout? Will Tenchou’s luck keep running out, so Ranko wins? It ran out. Ranko gets her revenge! We haven’t seen the quality of Zoya’s defense yet.

Oh no! Shiipon might lose a pancreas! Oh, good. Akiba Maid War shows us Zoya’s backstory. She liked cute things, but her fight training denied all of it! I wonder how strong the Japanese accent is in this Russian narration. Aha. Ranko is a better maid because she can smile! Here we go. Ranko and Zoya talk to each other with their fists. Smiles! And Ranko won. What mayhem happens to the Boss Lady and the figurine guys? Yeesh! Don’t get on Ranko’s naughty list!

The Oinky Doink Café girls destroyed another maid café. How much will Yumechi get for the original toy? The Hajime no Ippo and Ashita no Joe references keep coming. Epilogue! Zoya joined the Oinky Doink girls! She’s the censored maid in the Akiba Maid War opening credits! Now that the spoilers are done, will her face still be a scribble? I can’t wait to find out. Zoya and Ranko still talk with their eyes.