Sunday, July 27, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/27/08

The last stage of the Tour de France is, for the most part, a procession for the overall contender. That is, until the last 55 kilometers which is a full bore gallop of eight laps around the Champs Elysees. Consider the average speed for the first hour of the last stage: 25.3 km/h. That's 15.7 mph. For comparison, my cycling group averaged 16.6 mph for our route between Long Beach and Balboa Island this morning. However, the overall average for the entire tour, based on Carlos Sastre's finishing time, was 40.5 km/h, or 25.2 mph. That's including two stages in the Pyrenees, and three in the Alps. Now, our 16.6 mph average was putting as much effort as we could on some rolling hills. The pros were going just a little bit slower while drinking champagne, mugging for pictures, and lazily chatting with their friends and team mates.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/26/08

Funny bikes: that's what the pro riders affectionately call the time trial bikes. And as you can see from the pictures below, the road bikes look pretty much like the ones you see everyday, but the "funny bikes" look more like fighter planes than bikes.



Erik Zabel is the only rider on Colnago’s new Extreme Power Special in the 2008 Tour.


Ridley’s new Dean time-trial bike

Friday, July 25, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/25/08

Usually, the stage before the final time trial is supposed to be relaxing, tranquilo as the peloton calls it, where they let the breakaways go, and just make sure no one gets injured. However, on today's stage, since the earlier sprint stages were set up a little hard for the sprinter teams, and the flat stages were all scooped up by Team Columbia's Mark Cavendish, all the sprinter teams were chasing down the breaks, just trying to make something happen. Even then, two guys were able to break away, but the pace was so hard, that a grupetto finished up 13 minutes behind the finishers, and three guys were eliminated at 28 minutes behind. And these guys, Flecha, Feillu, and Wegman are some of the toughest guys on the tour, but they got blasted on a flat stage. So much for a recovery stage...

Helmety Email Attachments

Last week, we saw the beginning of negotiations for surrender between some robot species. Obviously, there seemed to be a difference in perception of what constituted a superior lifeform. Also, I'm not sure one can paraphrase Edward Bulwer-Lytton in saying that "the email is mightier than the disintegration ray."



"I'm here to help. Please do not harm me."

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/24/08

Now that Team CSC-Saxo Bank has a pretty strong grip on the overall lead with Carlos Sastre, you may notice that not everyone on that team is wearing the same uniform, and not just because Sastre is wearing a yellow jersey, or Andy Schleck in the all white young rider's jersey. The national road race champion of each country gets to wear its own special racing kit, with the team sponsors' logos displayed a little less prominently, of course. Now that Fränk Schleck is out of the yellow jersey, he gets to wear a different kit as well. How dominant is CSC's team? There are three national champions on the team, riding as subordinates to Carlos Sastre: Kurt-Asle Arvesen (Norway), Fränk Schleck (Luxembourg), and Nicki Sørensen (Denmark). However, during a time trial, the time trial champions get to wear their own special racing kit, so Fabian Cancellara (Switzerland) gets to wear his own set of colors. Although Cancellara is the Swiss champion, he doesn't wear that version of the skin suit, since he is the current world time trial champion, so he wears the all white suit with the tri-color bands.

Well, what about the Americans? Levi Leipheimer is the reigning US road race champion, but as a member of Team Astana, he was famously disinvited from the Tour, so he was winning the Cascade Classic in Oregon and training for the Olympics. And Dave Zabriskie, the American time trial champion, broke a lumbar vertebra during a bad crash in the Giro d'Italia, so he's been healing and also training for the Olympics.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/23/08

Today's stage finish up L'Alpe D'Huez was definitely the one to watch. And not just on TV. There were an estimated 1 million spectators lining the 21 turns up the mountain. However, American commentator Bob Roll has a different name for the crazy cycling fans who have been camping on the side of the road for several days, waiting for the fleeting moments of the riders passing by: schloog. Sometimes it's spelled like the german schlug, which comes from german slang for being drunk. The past tense for schlagen (to beat, strike, hit), is schlug, so there you go. Now, if the schloogs get surly and become abusive to the cyclists, Roll calls them schmenges. I have no idea what the etymology of this one is. This year, though, I didn't see any German schmenges spitting on the riders, unlike 2004, when Lance Armstrong was aiming for his sixth win. Not only did he win the stage up L'Alpe D'Huez, but he won the next stage as well. As Armstrong explained his motivation for winning two alpine stages in a row, he claimed "it was just one loogie too many."

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/22/08

Everyday on the Tour, somebody gets caught doing something against the rules. Most of the time, these are very minor things, and the penalties show that: 30 euros for drafting too long from the team car, or for each instance of an illegal feed (you can't get food or drinks from the team car within the first 50 km of each stage, or the last 20 km, for example). On especially long stages, like the alpine stages, the list of fines and penalties can get pretty long. But sometimes you have to wonder just what were the circumstances for some of these infractions. Like this one:

Pineau (Bouyges-Telecom) fined 60 euros for inappropriate urination

Riders usually take "nature breaks" along the side of the road, or on long flat stages, will go to the back of the peloton, and whip it out while rolling along. I'm pretty sure women cyclists don't have that option. But to be fined for "innapropriate urination," hmmm...

Monday, July 21, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/21/08 Rest Day

As we enter the final week of Tour, most of the attention is on the top six riders who are only separated by 49 seconds. But let's take a look at the last place man, the lanterne rouge, who happens to be Sébastien Chavanel from Team Francaise des Jeux. He's only a mere 2h 42' 15" behind the overall leader Frank Schleck. However, as a percentage of the leader's total ride time, which is 63h 57' 21", Chavanel is within 4.23% of Schleck. That doesn't sound so bad, now does it? On the flip side, it makes you appreciate how little a gap of 49 seconds actually is, among the top 5 percent of the elite cyclists.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/20/08

Today's first alpine stage, which shook up the overall rankings, was definitely a day for crashes as well. Oscar Pereiro crashed out after tumbling over a guardrail, and then 20 feet below to the pavement on the other side of a hairpin turn. And then later on, about 25 riders fell making their way through a roundabout. What was odd about that pileup, was that it happened on both sides of the roundabout at the same time, after the peloton split right and left to pass through. Which leads us to today's tidbit:

Tattoo: the nickname riders give to the punctures and cuts left by the bike chain rings' teeth during a crash.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/19/08

Road Furniture: The nickname given by the cyclists for all the islands and road signs at European intersections and roundabouts, which sometimes produce spectacular crashes when the riders run into them at speed, such as the one suffered by Sven Krauss (Gerolsteiner), where a road sign severed his bike in half as he somersaulted over the handlebars.

San Dimas Fruit

It's been a while since I've taken my fruit stand ride, a good 44 mile ride starting from Pasadena, and rolling along all the different versions of Route 66 around the foothills here. My buddy Cisco and I rolled through Pasadena, Sierra Madre, Arcadia, Monrovia, Duarte, Bradbury, Azusa, Glendora, and San Dimas. We even got stopped in Sierra Madre by a kind cop letting us know about the stop sign traps they set up that morning. The Montrose riders, a big huge peloton that's full of testosterone and traffic scofflaws, had already collected thirty tickets for blowing through stop signs. Needless to say, we did not roll through Sierra Madre Blvd on our way back.

Starberry Farms in San Dimas has a neat little stand that boasts fresh fruit, sweet corn, and enticing desserts.



How about those "healthy" dipped strawberries above? Cisco had a chocolate nut-covered version. I had a nice Coke in a glass bottle. What else would I get on Route 66? Starberry Farms also likes to have fun displays in its front yard, so this summer, they're reminding customers of San Dimas' pioneer roots.



Friday, July 18, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/18/08

During the live coverage of today's flat stage through the south of France, the helicopter coverage showed quite a few pools. Paul Sherwen mentioned, that even though the hotels where most of the riders stay have pools, the team doctors don't allow them to jump in and cool off. Phil Liggett wondered why, and Paul said he wasn't quite sure why, but soaking in cold water made sore muscles even tighter and stiffer, which is definitely what you don't want when you are riding over a hundred miles everyday. The reason why is osmosis. Soaking in somewhat fresh water will encourage the transport of salts out through the skin, mainly the valuable electrolytes which combat the lactic acid buildup and keep the body from being dehydrated. If you ever want to soak sore muscles in warm or cold water, make sure you mix in Epsom salts so that the balance of salts across the skin membrane remains constant.

Helmety Negotiations

As the world's sole Superpower, we have a lot of responsibilities, which tend to foster a bunch of resentments from tinpot dictators. Well, what if we decided just not to fight anymore, and surrender to anyone who had a problem with us? Of course, our military would have to take on a whole new bureaucratic role. What would that look like?



"On behalf of my species, I would like to thank you for not instantly destroying us."

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/17/08

Neverminding the latest doping scandal that had Saunier Duval's entire team abandoning the tour, Mark Cavendish, after winning today's lead-out sprint, became the first Briton to win three stages in the same Tour de France.

Also, the media came out very quickly in pronouncing what Riccardo Ricco is purported to have taken for his doping regimen: CERA (or Micera the brand name). This is a third generation synthetic EPO that WADA does not even have a positive test for, however, tests can show that a person has used it, just not when. This leads blood-doping expert Daniel Friebe to speculate that authorities must have searched Ricco's room in addition to having an atypical EPO result. It was the room search that produced the positive test, since it is always a doping violation to have banned substances in your possession.

Update: Numerous reports have come out that Roche has been working with the ADA's in formulating a doping test, even while they were developing the new EPO drug. The latest claim is that they introduced a signature molecule, which is what the lab tests were looking for. Unfortunately, this new test, and how it was introduced, does not conform to WADA procedures, so I would be very surprised if it were used during the Olympics. But since this is the French version of the Tour de France, the ALFD can do whatever they want, and the riders' contracts have to honor that.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/16/08

Jens Voigt, strong all-rounder for Team CSC, on attacking the peloton:

If try to win, you might lose. But if don't try to win, you'll lose for sure.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/15/08 Rest Day

Rest days on the Tour usually have media events, lots of press conferences, and many outlandish statements. A Grand Tour, in terms of race tactics, is very much like a rolling United Nations General Assembly session. Lots of posturing, bluffing, attempts at diplomacy, and ambiguous pronouncements hiding true intentions and circumstances.

Fun media event for today: Garmin-Chipotle provided the press, and the other riders, Chipotle's French Burrito. Rumor was that the recipe required making adjustments for the local beans that were available.

Press conferences: the must attend Q&A session is the Yellow Jersey holder. Cadel Evans brought an Aussie flavor to his presser: having the interview outside in the hotel's backyard, entering the venue to the sound of Men at Work's "Land Down Under," and dressing the stuffed lion, which each yellow jersey holder receives at the podium presentation, in his first ever yellow jersey and sunglasses. No name for the lion yet, though.

Outlandish statements: the most notable noises came from Caisse d’Epargne Spaniards Alejandro Valverde and Oscar Pereiro calling Cadel Evans' Silence-Lotto team "weak." Bold words coming from a pre-race favorite who imploded in the time trial and the designated winner of the 2006 Tour de France, who only got that close to the lead because the peloton let his breakaway escape since he was over 30 minutes behind the leaders. Both lost over three minutes to Evans in one stage, basically ending their chances at even a top five finish, with the Alps still looming and a 50 km time trial.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/14/08

Today's mountain stage brought a big shake up to the overall rankings of the riders in the Tour, exposing the weakness of some of the favorites such as Alejandro Valverde and Damian Cunego. There were two above category climbs, along with a mountain top finish, totalling a little over 3000 meters (almost 10,000 feet) of climbing. However, the toughest stage this year will be Stage 17, with 3 above category climbs, finishing up the fabled slopes of L'Alpe D'Huez. That stage features over 4000 meters (about 13,000 feet) of climbing, and will probably dash the hopes of the other overall contenders who have poor form in the individual time trial.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/13/08

A news story that's getting a lot of coverage these days is how taking in caffeine and carbohydrates immediately after a strenuous workout helps muscles recover 66% more glycogen than if carbohydrate were ingested alone. Really, just google it. Endurance athletes have known how carbs and caffeine help recovery for years. In fact, if you watch the finish line at the Tour de France, you will see that most of the cyclists are greeted with a small red can. That's right. Coca-Cola is the recovery drink of choice for the elite of the elite cyclists. Not only do they get the caffeine and the carbs, but the carbonation also helps the body digest the soft drink faster.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/12/08

Jonathan Vaughters, team director for Garmin-Chipotle:

Next time you're in your car, strip down to your underwear, and jump out the door. And that's what it's like to crash in a professional bike race.

As someone who has crashed going about thirty miles an hour down a mountain road, I can tell you, yeah, it's exactly like that.

Moon Fest 2008

No Tour Tidbit for today, since I have to catch up after being out all day. Where was I? Riding my bike in Orange County to the Muggs mooning of the Amtrak trains. It's a nice rolling 50 mile ride from Anaheim to San Juan Capistrano.




Above is the group setting up at the start point in front of the Anaheim Amtrak station, where we would be returning by train from San Juan Capistrano.



And here we see some of the people waiting their chance to moon the passing trains in front of the bar. I did not get a chance to drop trouser because the passing train we had did not slow down or blow its horn to warn us that it was coming. Whoosh, and it was gone. Darn... But that's okay, since we got to see the other side from the train side view on the way back to Anaheim. Thankfully (?), the video below has such low resolution, you can't see any details in the mass of moons we passed by.



"Oh no! That's wrong! That's just wrong!"

Friday, July 11, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/11/08

The French version of the Tour de France, which was supposed to have emptied the peloton of all the dopers, lost its sheen as its hopes for a doping scandal free Tour were dashed when it was announced that Manuel Beltran of Liquigas tested positive for EPO after Stage 1. No word has come down yet if the entire Liquigas team will also abandon, like Cofodis and Astana did last year after two of their riders were caught for doping. So it seems that the witch hunt strategy for ridding cycling of doping does not produce clean Grand Tours. Of course, this was the same French lab that had one of its tests against Floyd Landis thrown out for incompetence, and Beltran's positive result was leaked to the French sport magazine L'Equipe before he was even notified, which usually happens with this same lab, so I'll be waiting for the B sample confirmation, hopefully done at another lab than Chateau-Malabry (the former LNDD). The suspicious part of my brain came up with the idea that this is just the French trying to take another sideswipe at Lance Armstrong, since "Tricky" Beltran was one of Team U.S. Postal Service and Discovery's mountain lieutenants during Armstrong's seven consecutive victories.

Perhaps a more serious and sensible approach to anti-doping measures will be adopted, instead of the hysterical screeching that pervades the sport right now. Instead of bragging about how "clean" the Tour is, when they really have no idea, especially when the testing labs' standards are not universal, the riders' rights are not being respected, and most of the European sponsors have not pulled the money away from teams whose management either condones doping or just looks the other way. The serious and sensible approach would be to actually enforce WADA guidelines for every testing lab, and pull accreditation when necessary; treat the athlete's rights following a positive result as seriously as the testing, even sanctioning testing facilities which violate them; and make all proceedings and documents open to the public.

Helmety Customer Service

If you're like me, then you used to browse bookstores and video game stores before you got into the habit of buying everything online. When I first got my Xbox, lo these many years ago, I did buy most of my games at the shop parodied below. And apparently, things have not changed at all since I bought my last game there, which was before I discovered that "fly" place. I'm not going back, ever, not ever.



"Preorder? How can I buy something before I have arrived?"

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/10/08

Today's stage was the first real mountain stage, with two 2nd category climbs, the second being a mountaintop finish. Not only will you see the true mountain climbers come out of the peloton and battle for points, but you will also see the overall contenders mark each other, and either gain some advantage or limit their losses. However, that's only the stuff you'll see on television, because that's where all the drama is on a climbing stage.

The side of the race you won't see is what happens to the heavily muscled sprinters, and the high tempo boys who've blown their wads emptying the lead groups of the weaker men. Usually the sprinters end up at the back of the race in a big group they call the autobus. The autobus will pedal just fast enough to get inside the time limit set by the stage winner. However, if the mountain stage is too difficult and they can't make the time limit, just by having a large enough group, they will usually prevail on the judges to keep all the autobus riders in the race. This is why it is very important for the sprinters to stick together in the mountains, otherwise, they might be going home early. The high tempo boys who have blown up will find small groups of riders going their same natural climbing pace, and these groups, fittingly enough called grupettos, will cross the finish line minutes after the winner, but well ahead of the autobus.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/9/08

Most of the Italians on team Liquigas are known for having gregarious natures and wonderful senses of humors. Most of all, they seem to like mugging for the cameras with the local citizenry. Here are a few of the team members sampling oysters at the festival near the start of today's stage.



Photo ©: Roberto Bettini/www.bettiniphoto.net

The Liquigas boys also posed for some funny pictures last year at the first stage start in London.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/8/08

Today was the first individual time trial at the Tour, and even though time-trial specialist David Zabriskie couldn't make it to France because of his still healing broken vertebra from the Giro d'Italia, there was one thing I wasn't missing with Dave's absence. What was that? The stock phrase the announcers always trot out about the American currently on the Garmin-Chipotle team: "most aerodynamic man in the peloton." I'm sure that was true of Dave at one point, established when Cervelo began working with Team CSC in the wind tunnel when they were designing their time-trial bike. Zabriskie claimed the lowest air drag coefficient of all the guys who spent time in the wind tunnels, when many pro teams were testing their bikes and skin suits. But sometimes Dave likes to grow a beard, and there have been faster guys on the time-trial circuit in the last five years, so who knows if his coefficient is still the lowest. So, I haven't missed that "most aerodynamic rider" moniker every time his image would have been flashed across the screen, especially a time-trial stage. That just gets annoying, seriously.

Unfortunately, the announcers have found a new rider and new stock phrase to repeat ad nauseum this year. Mark Cavendish, the young British sprinter on Team Columbia, now has "the fastest man in the peloton" attached to him, because it is generally agreed that he has achieved the highest top speed in the last 200 meters of several races this year. So now, whenever we see Mark's face on the screen, you can be sure to hear "fastest man" at some point during the commentary.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/7/08

Get off the stage, hippie scum!
Photo: Agence France Presse
On a day marked by a protest which almost delayed the peloton in the middle of the race, a smaller protest marred the presentation of the stage winner, Samuel Dumoulin. While race director Christian Prudhomme dealt diplomatically with the protesters in the middle of the race, allowing them some camera time, and prevailing on them not to block the riders as they passed, 5-time Tour winner Bernard Hinault handled the lone protester on the podium a little differently. Hinault shoving the idiot off the stairs is consistent with how he dealt with protesters along the Tour route in the 1980's, usually by hurtling straight into the mob, and scattering them if they did not get out of his way.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Big, Round Number Update

Joeschmo 20,000!



While I was coming back from a 40 mile ride this morning, the ol' Sitemeter ticked over that number with lots of zeros in it. Thank you, my faithful readers, all four of you, for stopping by and still thinking what I have to write is worth a click from your RSS feeders or bookmarks. Just think, there were only three faithful readers last year... Joeschmo, on the grooow! Also, I'd like to thank Google for thinking my blog is relevant to searches such as smartest mammals and turkish porn fair. Honestly, I don't know what that last one is about...

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/6/08

The thing on everyone's mind at the Tour de France today was the wind. From Will Frischkorn of Garmin-Chipotle writing all about the windy conditions on the road, to another Velonews feature headlined It's the wind (and the hill), stupid!, to even the Versus sweepstakes codeword being "echelon". A long line of riders spread out diagonally across the road to help break a crosswind, very similar to how geese fly during migration, should have been a common sight today, but the peloton ended up not needing to use this technique. Why? According to Frischkorn, the answer was thanks to the 120 km of trees lining the route. And when the trees gave out, the route changed direction, so the Atlantic blast became a tailwind. The course turning into the final climb up to the finish line made the wind a headwind, which killed Fabian Cancellara's too early attack.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Tour Tidbit du Jour - 7/5/08

It's the start of this year's French version of the Tour de France. French version? Isn't in France? Well, this year, the three week race is not being run by any international standards or international doping agencies. Instead of the International Cycling Union (UCI) or WADA, it's the French agencies handling the rules and the testing. The main issue between the French owners of the race and the UCI rested with which teams were invited, since the UCI wanted to make the Tour an all-ProTour event, in which the 20 registered UCI Professional Teams were automatically invited to race. The results mattered for rankings and invitations to the World Championship events at the end of the season. This was usually why, in addition to the 20 Pro teams, the one, or two, wild-card selection was usually a very political choice. But since the Tour de France separated from the UCI, they got to choose whichever teams they wanted, which led to the famous disinvitation of the team for which last year's winner, Alberto Contador, rides: Team Astana. Under UCI rules, Astana would have been forced on the Tour organizers, which they did not want, because of the doping scandals involving former team members. So, this year, instead of the usual 21 or 22 teams, totaling 189 or 198 riders, there are only 20 teams, or 180 riders.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Happy Independence Day

Happy 4th of July! Yes, that is a patriotic faceplate for the Xbox 360. Nothing more American then mowing down bad guys with technologically superior firepower! Allow me to add a reminder to have a safe and sane celebration, so be careful with those fireworks!

Helmety Dysfunction

Last week, we saw an incredible new product designed to bring ease and convenience in providing for all your Stroyent needs. Yes, the Human Juicifier™ quickly and quietly produces all the Stroyent a Strogg needs. But what does Stroyent actually do? And what is is it good for? All these questions, and more, are answered in today's video.



"Common side effects include overheating, additional experience, and anal leakage."

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Finds From The Grind V

What I found today: car in a tree. No, I'm not kidding! While climbing up Highland Oaks in Arcadia, I saw part of the street blocked off by cop cars and fire engines. I didn't see any smoke, so I wondered if I was going to be slowly pedaling into a hostage situation. Nope. Car in a tree. Somehow, an elderly man had jumped his white car over the curb, pieces of the car still on the road, and the car itself had worked its way up a low curving tree trunk. The emergency crew were trying to figure out how to drag the car off the tree without damaging it, which was going to be difficult, since the car was only making contact with the ground by its rear bumper. Sadly, no pictures, because I was going up a steep hill and starting again would have been very difficult.