Wednesday, August 07, 2024

Elf-san wa Yaserarenai - Episode 4 - Kuroeda Questions Motives

Naoe recommended that Kuroeda and Elfuda take up swimming for extra exercise. They are aware of his manliness.

Oh, Japan. What’s the first thing you focus on from a dog’s eye level? Upskirts, cleavage, and panty shots. Of course! The ladies in the local market district keep feeding extra snacks to a big dog. It’s not carrying puppies!

Aw. Naoe’s growing harem of monster girls has joined his training program with Elfuda. The Forest Elf is in her natural habitat as she runs around a park. But a Merrow, Dark Elf, Mandrake, and Ogre can’t handle the pace. Hey, Plus-Sized Elf, how many fried-potato-themed T-shirts does Elfuda own? Ha! The gate to the other world is right here in this park! Naoe’s town must know about the parallel world if it built concrete and brick structures around it. Disappointment. Only mana can open the gate, so humans can’t visit.

Uh oh. That fat doggy begs for Elfuda’s post-run recovery french fry. Oho. Naoe is a dog person. But his hands and petting feel too good for the fat doggo because the pudgy puppy is a werewolf! Plus-Sized Elf calls the fido female a “lycanthrope” instead of a werewolf. Naoe’s hands-on treatment put the pupper’s tail between her legs. Not so alpha now, are we? Har. Elfuda pulls out her magical bow from “somewhere” whenever she’s angry. The weighty wolf claims she couldn’t refuse people who brought her yummy treats. She’s been running around the park but can’t lose weight! Naoe suggests stretches, but what about, uh, not eating everything? That’s never the answer in Plus-Sized Elf. One of those stretches resembles the ”Downward Dog.”

Naoe made her feel good. He’s now a member of her pack. Oops. Naoe’s the alpha wolf because he trained her well. She must obey the top dog! Uh oh. Femme monsters are snarling. Fool! A ranged archer can’t match a melee fighter in belly-to-fat-belly fighting!

“They say the best form of exercise is swimming,” writes every social media NPC post on the internet. Stretch and warm up before jumping into the pool. Why? You’ll still cramp if you’re out of shape. And you’ll puke no matter how long you wait after you eat if you go too hard too fast. I have two words for you to avoid cramping in the pool: Git gud. Experienced swimmers have their own routines to avoid injury and prime aerobic engines. Aw. The best swimmer in Plus-Sized Elf, Mero (a freshwater mermaid), can’t handle chlorine. Ack! Kusahanada’s mandrake flower soaked up too much water. Plants and fish monster girls don’t mix well with human water sports. Mama Oga watches over the kiddos.

Raika (the lycanthrope) claims to be an expert swimmer…in the doggy paddle! When will she introduce herself to Naoe? I only know her name from the official website (Madoka Asahina — Nene Sakura from New Game!). Naoe enters monster girl trainer mode. Swimming isn’t only about watching thicc girls splash around in swimsuits. The water adds resistance training to all muscle groups. Uh oh. Elves don’t know how to swim! Water walking for the Forest and Dark Elf.

Oh? Naoe mistakes a red-headed swimmer for his boss, Akiho. Typical male. He never noticed a woman’s eye color. “Oku” has red eyes. But Naoe confirms differences through the “three sizes.” Oku’s swimsuit says “Pork,” so I assume this is an orc monster girl. Oh no. Don’t talk about eating pork in Oku’s presence! Plus-Sized Elf continues the Japanese tradition of portraying orcs as porcine kemono (beast, anime) girls. Oku even has a swirly piglet tail! She’s on the thin side, according to Elfuda. Oku explains she came to the human world to practice the ancient art of the “diet.” What a weird orc! She wants to teach her people how to be thin.

Kuroeda has questions. Is swimming the best form of exercise if it makes a fatty orc so thin? That must be true for the Plus-Sized Elf anime. That’s elf shade thrown at a porky pig, Oku! The Dark Elf and Forest Elf need to learn how to swim. But first, the elf cousins need to bicker and fight. No roughhousing near the pool! At least Raika was a good doggo doing her proper laps. The water-logged crew enjoys a popsicle no matter what.

Epilogue for Oku the Porky Orc. She gained weight back after the pool shut down for renovations! Oku needs alternatives to the “perfect exercise.” Poor Naoe. He collected another kemono harem member.

Raika wears a black bikini while Oku sweats in booty shorts in the end credits.

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