Megami no Café Terrace - Episode 16 - Valentina Ami Bosom Buddies

Ami and Valentina met, combined for a spectacular coffee spill, and discovered how much they had in common.

Fuwa continues to play the ridiculous supervillain. His project to destroy the Familia Café Terrace is a total loss except for defraying demolition costs. What a stupid businessman! He could have rebranded the restaurant and made money from its prime location. Anyone against Fuwa is a friend of Familia. Hayato, do something! Now, we can find out these hired guns’ personalities and how they match the Goddess Café Terrace’s website character notes. Hahaha! Valentina likes watching Akane make coffee. Aw. Akane likes compliments. And Riho can’t refuse her junior, Ririka.

Har. Hayato complains about Japanese inflation. Let’s replay the first episode with five new girls! Samba gattai! The former competitors introduce themselves to Hayato. Ririka is a nineteen-year-old live streamer, Mao is a twenty-year-old part-timer and amateur model, Moemi is a third-year college student and a “good cook,” Hekiru is a nineteen-year-old part-timer, and Valentina is an eighteen-year-old Tina. Oh, a traveler. But call her Tina! The Familia share house will have five temporary boarders. Be careful, Hayato!

The current freeloaders quickly pair up with their Goddess Café Terrace counterparts. But not the superficial ones. Akane and Ami switched to Hekiru and Valentina. Ouka and Mao team up because Ouka can dress Mao in her clothes, and Moemi can help Shiragiku cook dinner. Hekiru is an aspiring writer, so she wants to join Akane as she writes song lyrics. Ami and Tina are martial arts muscleheads, so the pair can enjoy mixing karate and capoeira.

Poor Hayato. He’s living in a henhouse! Roughhousing. One toilet for eleven people. No manga reading on the pot, Moemi! Goddess Café Terrace uses steam lines instead of the hard lines of spotlight streams from the first cour. Yes. Yes! We finally got drunk girl time for the first time this year. Will Mao join Shiragiku? What’s her fetish? Threesomes?

What? Does Hayato feel partly responsible for Fuwa throwing these girls away and charging them for it? That’s harem simp energy, my dude. Has Hayato already paid off his grandma’s loans, so he has enough resources to float a loan to the former Family girls? Akane and Riho have questions. Mao has questions about their questions. Ririka has big boobs, so what boy wouldn’t want to be her boyfriend? Like, oh, I don’t know, Hayato! Akane and Riho don’t like hearing that! They have enough size anxiety already. Don’t play with your food, Ami. Hayato has a full dinner table.

Uh oh. Akane and Riho’s harem sense is tingling. More than usual for Goddess Café Terrace. What will Ririka be doing in Hayato’s room? Sneak, sneak, sneak. Confirmed. Mao pursues any group sex scenario. This scene follows the joke format that bathos steals: setup, delivery, and punchline. But bathos does pathos, melodrama, and anticlimax. Mao does well to misdirect the scene to sexual innuendo instead of financial promissory collateral. Ririka’s “stack” was all the paper forms for business registration and banking applications. It’s Ririka’s “first time.” And Drunk Shiragiku puts the exclamation point on the punchline. Naked time for Mao! Just a regular night for Hayato and his crazy goddesses.

How will Ririka’s negotiations with Fuwa go? Fuwa continues to be the stupidest financial supervillain in anime. Goddess Café Terrace only has one speed for bad guys. He spent 180 thousand dollars (2024 yen) to put up a restaurant and will take a 50 percent haircut to walk away. He could have rebranded and kept tenants to generate passive revenue, but Fuwa is a Kouji Seo villain. Also, Hayato has Fuwa’s number, which was good enough for Ririka. Now, Hayato owns two restaurants along the beachfront. He even told Ririka how to negotiate in bad faith to satisfy Fuwa’s jollies. Look. I know we’re watching a cartoon, but did Fuwa have to be a cartoon villain? Welcome to the Seo-verse.

How will Ririka’s restaurant look and feel after the girls serve customers as themselves? And they’re also out of Hayato’s hair at the Familia share house. めでたしめでたし (medetashimedetashi, happily ever after). The Familia goddesses are unsure about having rivals in the neighborhood, but competition breeds success.

Next time, the Familia members take an onsen inn trip! How much steamy censorship will we have?