German Army Not Ready to Stand Up

For those who think that the U.S. military should leave Iraq as soon as possible, thinking that we should be there only as long as it takes to train the Iraqi military, never mind that we've been in Germany, Japan, and North Korea for over 50 years, their slogan has been that we need to stand the Iraqi Army up so that we can stand down. Well, we've been trying to stand the German army up for 60 years, but we can't stand down there yet since they're more overweight than the German public!

Some 40 percent of soldiers between 18 and 29 are overweight compared to 35 percent among Germany's civilian population, said the report, which also found young male and female soldiers smoked too much and failed to do enough sport.

We're bogged down in Germany! It's a quagmire! Too many German recruits are dying from IED's (Intensive Epicurean Diets)! They're not standing up because they're too busy sitting down eating and smoking! I thought the Germans already gave up beer soup for breakfast...