New Chinese Crackdown on Human Rights

Sounds ominous, right? But, the Chinese are putting a stop to what every red-blooded, rural farmer should have at their funerals: strippers. The custom has been to attract more mourners by employing strippers to entice villagers to attend the funerals. The idea being that the more attendees, the more honored the dead will be. Now, funeral plans have to be submitted at least 12 hours in advance and a hotline has been created to report "funeral misdeeds." More hay can be made out of this, what with the process of clearing the funeral with the government, which is an erosion of human freedom, but I'm more concerned about the small businesspersons whose livelihoods are being jeopardized. Yes, I'm sympathetic to the strippers, especially the hardworking ones working in rural villages. Talk about a tough time getting gigs, now they're being stepped on by the man, the Chinese Man. Damn commies.