Monday, June 30, 2008

Landis Loses

Floyd Landis has lost his final appeal to the doping charge from the 2006 Tour de France. Again, the judges acknowledged “less than ideal laboratory practices," but they did not affect the overall adverse analytical finding for exogenous testosterone. In addition, the three person panel chided the Landis experts for being too adversarial in their own analyses of the French lab's practices and results. Sad. Shorter version of the 58 page verdict: "the lab kinda messed up, but not too much, and you were a dick for pointing it out. Guilty!" That's enough of that. Floyd, see you next February. Now, I'm going on a bike ride.

Update: Welcome TBV readers! For past opinions and ramblings about the Floyd Landis Doping Saga, click here.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Helmety Energy Boost

Do you ever feel like there are hidden words of wisdom on those infomercials you see late at night on the local channel? Like maybe your life really can change for the better if you just get the right kind of juicer? Well, in video games, it really is true! If you have the right kind of juicer, with the right ingredients, your quality of life (or at least gameplay) really can improve. Don't believe me? Just look at the glowing testimonials from Quake Wars on the over-the-counter energy enhancer, Stroyent!



"And look! Up to 30% more human goo!"

Friday, June 20, 2008

Biker Tan Progress

For those wondering how my tan lines are doing compared to Frazz, here's a little taste:

That's some nice biker tan you got there.
The thumb tan is coming in nicely...

Helmety Job Training

It's officially Summer now, and that means for a lot of kids, it's time for a summer job. Working at a grocery store for the first time can be a scary experience, but luckily, if you get past the screening process at Empire Market, you have wonderful training videos hosted by the best Day Shift Manager ever: Chad Vader! So sit back, and pay attention, because there are spies everywhere.



"Ooh, a dime!"

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Dude

As someone who has actually had whole conversations with my bro using only this one word, well-timed eyebrow arches, and properly pointed chin-raises, I can attest that there are way more definitions for "dude" than in this comic. However, it is a very good start!



Friday, June 13, 2008

Helmety Thriller

Now, I like Star Wars, and I like 1980's Michael Jackson. But what if I could have both at the same time? Heaven.



YouTube link for the DivX impaired.

Friday, June 06, 2008

Finds From The Grind IV

Well, this is going to be a rambling post. I'm just warning you all right now. This morning for my ride, I decided to do two climbs in Sierra Madre, just 'cuz I'm crazy like that. The first climb was up to the dam on Woodland Drive. Once I got past Mary's Market and Cafe, I noticed the road became very dusty. I hoped I wasn't riding into a whole bunch of construction. But then I remembered that it had rained pretty hard for three days while I was in Chicago (no rain in Chicago, go figure), and I had already seen the rockslide damage on my other rides this week. And adding to the runoff was the fact that the scorched earth from the recent fire wasn't going to be soaking up any of that water either. So, I just hoped I wasn't slipping and sliding on my way down.


Flood control: basically a huge gutter...

As you can make out in the picture above, the fire damage pretty much meets right up with the dam, and there are houses packed into the little canyon. This really is how close that fire got to all those Sierra Madre homes. As I made my way across Sierra Madre to the next climb, I noticed some deer statues on someone's front lawn. My next thought was how big those three statues were of a buck, a doe, and a juvenile. As I got closer, I thought, "whoa, those are really big statues." And as I came up to the deer ensemble, the buck statue, while chewing on something, turned to inspect me. Gah! Those were real mule deer! The burn had made the local wildlife forage a little more down the mountain side. As I passed by the deer family, I remarked to the buck, "That's a whole lotta deer!" He just looked at me and continued to chew on whatever he had found in that front yard. I expect that resident's trees aren't going to be finding any bark left on his trees. Mind you, seeing that "statue" move was not as shocking as passing a skunk at 4:30 in the morning, and having it hiss at you. I didn't know skunks could make that sound. *shudder*