Hallelujah! Pass the Coffee and Liquor!

Who knew that all those years of coffee and alcohol abuse would just even themselves out? Nature seems to find a balance.

 

My friends, I have just found redemption for all that caffeine and alcohol abuse.  Take a look at this headline from msnbc.com today:

Drinking coffee cuts alcohol's harmful effects

Here's the money quote: "A large study found that one cup of coffee per day cut the risk of alcoholic cirrhosis by 20 percent. Four cups per day reduced the risk by 80 percent."

Now, if I were horrible at math, I would conclude that 5 cups of coffee would reduce the risk of cirrhosis by 100 percent and 6 cups would reduce the risk by 120 percent.  Hmm, what's the opposite of cirrhosis?  Because, if you reduce the risk of developing cirrhosis, that's epidemiology speak for not getting the disease, by 100 percent, that means you never get it.  But if you reduce it by 120 percent, do you get a younger liver?  Cirrhosis is scarring of the organ tissue, so at 120 percent, do get even more non-scarring?  Well, thankfully, I'm very good at math, so I would never come to such a simplistic conclusion (ha!).

So, if you're a heavy drinker, don't forget to wash down that aspirin in the morning with some good Java and keep it coming.