Megami no Café Terrace - Episode 22 - Disappointed Mao Holds Vibrator

Mao thought she had a banger of a Christmas gift, but its recipient told her to shove it someplace else.

Oh boy. Hayato believes a Christmas party with a group of girls will be free of the “messiness about romance.” Fat chance! Funny. Mao wants romantic shenanigans at their party. Doujin writers, start your stylus pads! We need Mao’s paizuri techniques in parody books about Goddess Café Terrace! I like how the Chiyoda Diner girls have kept up with their personality pairs, except for Ouka. I can’t see how well she could mesh with Mao unless we learn more about Ouka’s humiliation fetish.

Aw. Poor Hekiru. Akane hasn’t accepted her as a wordsmith partner. The aspiring novelist knows all the harem competition rules. Akane put herself in last place because she proposed to Hayato first! The girl in a harem who makes the first move never wins! Will that rule apply in Goddess Café Terrace? Ohoho! Hekiru’s horse race system fits the metaphor of Ami as the dark horse. My theory is Hayato eventually chooses Ami because she most resembles his future daughter. Well, the daughter looks like Sachiko’s twin in her younger days. But Ouka makes a convincing showing for winning the heroine horse race, according to Hekiru.

Oops. Goddess Café Terrace missed an opportunity to make Ami yell “pinchos!” repeatedly. But Valentina is there to help Moemi switch personalities. Ami forgot that Shiragiku only does her “nyaa-nyaa” sounds after liquor enters her system. Hahaha! She kicked the youngsters out of the kitchen. “Go play outside!” Uh oh. Shiragiku lost heroine places if we followed Hekiru’s rules. Open declarations of marital intentions this early would doom her chances. The three heroines feel extra pressure to move ahead during the Christmas party. Har. Hayato brings Sachiko Kitty along. The cat has joined the Familia.

Let the harem games begin! Oh, Riho. That idea won’t work. She’s only good at manipulating others for their benefit, not hers. How will things backfire? Alcohol can’t work on Shiragiku if she can’t drink it. Stay on Riho’s good side, Sachiko-chan. Ack! Scaredy-cat Akane hangs on to Hayato’s arm. Riho lost her chances to get ahead during the Christmas Eve party. Ha. Goddess Café Terrace merely inverted colors for Riho’s shocked face.

More Christmas jokes! Hayato had a 10 percent chance of drawing Mao’s gift. Can he still use her “versatile” vibrating gift on himself? Mao knows where Hayato can “shove it.” Fujoshi Hekiru approves! Poor, pure Ouka. The mosaic censorship made that scene worse than it was. Hahaha! Of course. Of course! Ami and Valentina’s Spinning Tornado struck again. Snow already. Merry Christmas! Shiragiku gave Hayato an unambiguous kiss on the lips!

Any changes between Hayato and Shiragiku? No! Bring on the mopey romantic drama. Ami’s rubber ducky is the enemy of all otakus of culture. Here we go — Shiragiku went on a fishing expedition (literally) looking for answers. Is this the moment Goddess Café Terrace chose? When Shiragiku learns how affectionate her drunk blackout antics are? Ami has video proof! Rescind the top-secret classification! It’s not a deep fake, Shiragiku. Accept reality and fight your fate! Uh oh. That was Hayato’s first kiss. You know what that means! Shiragiku rushed ahead of the horses in the harem race!

Ah, yes. The days between Christmas and New Year’s Day are slow for business. What better way to waste time than to hold a mock trial? How long before we get an Ace Attorney reference? Hahaha! How do you get damages back from a stolen first kiss? Recriminations and accusations! I knew that eryngii mushroom would reappear in Goddess Café Terrace soon enough. It’s out in the open: Shiragiku has a smell fetish. Objection! Overruled! The stolen property has no human rights! What a farce! I love it. We should have expected this kind of judgment from Mao — the group sex fanatic decided that the other Familia girls get a kiss from Hayato!

Next time, the sexy hunt for Hayato’s lips begins in earnest. Ganbare, Akane-chan! Sachiko Kitty blocks Akane’s, er, kitty from view. Move!