Elf-san wa Yaserarenai - Episode 3 - Kuroeda Questions

Naoe told Kuroeda that sauna temperatures promote metabolism and circulation. But is there a heat limit?

No. A sauna is not a steam room. It’s just hot in there. But, the body expends more calories regulating heat, which increases metabolism, as Naoe explains. Just don’t eat french fries after a heat session.

Uh oh. Elfuda notices floating brown peaches in the spa. Oh! It’s Kuroeda! She brought a mini-golem with her. The Forest Elf and Dark Elf get along as well as ever. Aha. Kuroeda heard about the ogre rumors in the sauna, too. She now has a companion to face her fears! Can the elf girls stand the heat? Signs point to “no.” Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why does the thermometer say 120°C when it’s supposed to be Fahrenheit? If it were Celsius, that would be over the boiling point of water. A scary ogre politely asks the elves to close the sauna door.

Kuroeda and Elfuda wilt under the excessive heat of the sauna room. Oga, the ogre, introduces herself as another visitor from the “other world.” A plus-sized ogre joins the Plus-Sized Elf cast. She thinks the elves are ill-equipped to handle the sauna room heat. She’s right. Oga is a sauna veteran. Sit on a towel, ya noobs! The sauna has done wonders for Oga’s skin, but she needs it for her liquor hobby. Human booze is so tasty but puts the pounds on an ogre’s body. I understand, Ogre-Mama. You hit 27-28, and the metabolism turned to molasses. I had to switch from beer to whiskey to keep the calorie intake down. Elfuda abused fried potatoes. What made Kuroeda’s thighs so thicc? Has she explained that yet? Too many convenience store snacks?

Uh oh. Heat endurance competition? And the prize is all you can eat or drink? Kuroeda refused to participate because winning the stuff that made you use the sauna was self-defeating. She’s too sensible. Oga became an urban legend as the monster of the local sauna room. How could Elfuda expect to beat her? Well. She didn’t. Drinking ice-cold beer after a sauna tastes good but wrecks the weight-loss plan. Aw. Naoe can’t say no to a crying Forest Elf asking for a plate of french fries.

The mermaid lady selling fish is definitely not a cannibal. Aw. She has gained weight lately because she’s too busy selling non-cannibalized fish. Elfuda calls her a “merrow,” the Irish folklore version of mermaids. But, uh, she has legs. Oh. A magic potion temporarily turns her fish tail into legs. Elfuda is a wealth of knowledge about other species from her world. Somehow, instead of merrow tears to give her legs, the mermaid uses maca extract. The Peruvian maca root allegedly has health benefits. But its most exciting rumor is how it makes more bang for your buck. How does that connect to extending extremities from a fish crotch? Oh. What else do energy drinks do to monster girls in Plus-Sized Elf?

Mero (Sora Tokui — T.M. Opera O from Uma Musume: Pretty Derby — ROAD TO THE TOP) is a freshwater merrow, so she can’t swim in the ocean. Her human form is also a poor swimmer! Naoe begins his training sales pitch. Uh oh. Armpit fans, pay attention! Lymphatic massage increases circulation to filter out waste byproducts. Sure. One more thing: Mero chose a Kansai accent to decorate her “character.” What would a Japanese-Irish accent sound like? I see. Mero uses the Kansai-ben to prime a Japanese audience into thinking her character makes Manzai jokes and puns. And she pranked Elfuda into thinking she ate her fish babies. Not a cannibal! Only french fries can wash that nasty joke out of her mouth!

Next time, an adorable werewolf has been accepting too many freebies.

Oga and Mero take their turns in the Plus-Sized Elf end credits.