I Only Pretend to Understand

Yeah, that's the ticket... I don't really get Geek Humor, I only pretend to understand.

 

 

Hubble's ACS Breaks, Again

The Hubble Space Telescope's (HST) Advanced Camera for Surveys has shut off again. The first time was in June, when I wrote about it here. The AP is still calling the ACS the "main" camera, when it's not (read my earlier rant on that). Now, for someone who worked with the HST, I am not sentimental about it at all. The HST was only supposed to be in orbit for 10 years, and then next generation scopes (bigger, better, lighter) were supposed to go up. But NASA and the NAS got all wobbly, and here we have an aging HST, breaking down. Only 2 out of the 3 gyroscopes work now, power fluctuations are (apparently) more common, and with the HST in orbit, next-gen scopes have been delayed. The Webb scope has been delayed until 2011 for deployment. The HST should have been brought down in 2001 and put up in the Smithsonian, but because of great engineering and sentiment, the HST has extended its life almost twice its planned obsolescence. After NASA's problems with the space shuttle program, having a modular observatory in orbit just isn't in the long-term plans anymore, and I miss the grandiose plans that were drawn up. My old adviser was a consultant on a design planned for a 30 meter aggregate mirror following the orbit of the moon to use it as a dust shield: not going to happen now. It's past time to get the new scopes up and the old scopes deorbited. NASA: please hurry.

ROTFLMAO! Uh oh, BBL, RL Calls!

Most people of a certain age realize that there's a difference between how people act in real life, or RL, meatspace, what have you, than in cyberspace. There's new vocabulary, abbreviations, syntax, etiquette, and even modes of discourse. To illustrate the differences, we here at Helmety Goodness Fridays offer the following video to prepare your entry into the new and exciting world of the internet. Just remember, most of those Nigerian spam emails are scams, except for my guy, because he knew how to spell Nigeria.

 

"I don't want it to be illegal, therefore it isn't. That's the way it works."

 

Chocolate Better Than Viagra?

At first glance, an AFP report on an African country's food and drug agency touting chocolate's "curative" properties, seems like a throwaway funny story, but it's not. Nigeria's federal agency is making the claims that chocolate can enhance the sex drive by citing a report put out by the national committee for the development of cocoa, basically a lobbying board, and the paper is, at best, a press release, but is probably the ad copy from a new marketing campaign.

I'll ignore the AFP's inherent condescension in dealing with Africa, which comes across very strongly, but instead focus on the lack of critical thinking and the collusion of the government with industry at the expense of people's health. Here's the money quote that ties everything together:

For Akunyili, chocolate is the obvious lover's choice. Viagra, she said, can have unwelcome side effects, but chocolate is all good: it is the best anti-oxidant known and -- beyond its sexual virtues -- can help prevent heart attacks, hypertension and diabetes.

The vice governor, who also happens to head a committee for the promotion of chocolate, is even more enthusiastic about cocoa's curative powers, claiming it can "cure breast cancer, get rid of chronic coughs, and enhance brain power".

To present these kinds of claims from an agency meant to protect the public health does not instill confidence. I find it irresponsible that the AFP does not include any counterclaims in its story, proving the condescension for an "African story." For a continent with a rampant AIDS epidemic, spread even further by folk remedies such as having sex with a virgin, and that chocolate "can cure breast cancer," the press coverage needs to be critical, not farcical.

New York Slouches Toward Nanny-State

The NYC Health Department is considering banning all trans fatty acids in restaurants. Doing this would bar restaurants from cooking with almost all publicly available shortening, margarine, mayo, etc. (I was going to make a list, but when my list became more than 20, I knew I had to stop). To switch would be an absurd economic impact on the restaurants and the move could change how national chains prepare their food. The chains possibly would change their recipes nationwide, affecting taste, and ultimately, consumer loyalty. The health commissioner doesn't seem all that concerned what the change might mean economically: "Thomas Frieden acknowledged that the ban would be a challenge for restaurants, but he said trans fats can easily be replaced with substitute oils that taste the same or better and are far less unhealthy." So, instead of people taking responsibility for their own weight and diet related health problems, the city wants to do it for you, at the cost of local businesses. Also, people would still be allowed to cook their own food with these banned ingredients, so what is the point here? Plus, more man-hours are created in the businesses and the health department enforcing and negotiating the list of allowed fatty acids.
Now, if we ever move to a socialized healthcare system, I can see why a government would want to do this. Look at how broke Canada, Britain, and Sweden are becoming because of their healthcare systems taking care of aging populations. But why does any local government in America have to worry about this, unless it's political or ideological motivation? Huh. I just answered my own question. How cool is that?

AP Misreports Hurricane-Global Warming Link

The AP is reporting that the NOAA blocked a report on the link between Global Warming theory and its presumed effects on the hurricane season. While the NOAA just says the 2 page report wasn't ready for distribution in press kits, the MSM and a democrat Senator are trying to make political hay out of this. However, the lede of the story is wrong:

A government agency blocked release of a report that suggests global warming is contributing to the frequency and strength of hurricanes, the journal Nature reported Tuesday.[Emph. added]

All warming theories recently published last year and this year show a link between ocean temperatures and hurricane intensity, and that a warming trend in ocean temperatures would increase the proportion of stronger hurricanes in a given hurricane season. No link has been established between warming and an increase in the total number of hurricanes. Fact checkers seem to be in short supply over at the AP these days.

Grampa Gets Denied!

In an update to this story I wrote earlier this summer, the poor elderly man had his $400,000 judgment dismissed. Talk about your setbacks! I'm not quite sure what the Superior Court judge was thinking here. A jury gave Charles Lennon $750,000 in damages, this same judge reduced the amount to $400,000, the Rhode Island Supreme Court affirmed the amount, and then the judge grants a request from the bankrupt company to dismiss it entirely. Something is not quite right there.

El Niño's Back!

According to the World Meteorological Organization (WMO), the El Niño weather condition will be here for the next six months or so. This equatorial band of warm water near South America is usually responsible for inland drought conditions and coastal flooding. As far as climatologists have been able to figure, the periodicity of the El Niño has nothing to do with global warming. So, I'll be looking for stories blaming the increase in hurricanes and the drought conditions still in effect in central North America on global warming instead of El Niño. We already have a colder winter than usual predicted for this year, so I am poised to call "shenanigans" on any MSM bias.

"Payback, this time it's for real!"

Heh©. This is for all you guys in the entertainment industry who hate those life-sucking parasites in the news industry, otherwise known as critics.

How much is too much?

Well, now that I know the upper limit on breast fondling, what's the lower limit? I may have to do some "field research."

Organic Food Industry Invades Hospitals

This story looks like a puff piece for the organic food industry and a public relations story for Kaiser. In my opinion, the organic food industry only stays afloat because it caters to the mistrust that aging hippies have for introducing technology into the agriculture industry. All those additives and pesticides have to be bad for you, right? And don't even think about genetically modified crops, which is a bogus argument anyway, since humans domestically tamed all the food that we eat anyway through husbandry and grafting practices. Meanwhile, millions starve in Africa because the UN doesn't want that GM Frankencrop causing unproven mutations in people, or hurting indegenous insect species when they try to eat it, when the real reason is to politically stick it to the United States as an aid giver. As to the hospitals, as long as it's cheaper for them, let them serve it. We all know they need the budget help since they can't afford nurses, doctors, and trauma centers. Just don't ask them why they can't afford it: the answer might be politically incorrect. Uninsured patients doesn't mean the same thing in spanish, oops, did I say that out loud?

The Sunday Fuzzies

This is actually not an uncommon conversation around the Schmo household.

 

 

Comic Wisdom

Very wise, and very true.

 

 

Update: Nevermind the batfrisch droppings in the comments. Someone is feeling a little antsy before her court appearance on Monday.

Helmety Goodness Gets Sick(er)

Since Summer is ending, and the change in seasons can affect people's immune systems, we here at Helmety Goodness Fridays would like to offer a few tips on dealing with a cold or the flu. Of course, these tips only apply if you're a 1500 pound weaponized cyborg, but any knowledge is good, right? Right? Okay, maybe not, but if you find yourself suffering from TonyDanzaphobia, Insideoutness, or the Etceteras, don't come crying to me.

 

"I am feeling much better now, and I can fly. I am flyiiiiing! ... The sky is very hard."

 

An Interesting Take on Ocean Temperatures

I'm a little confused by this new story on the three-year cooling trend of oceanic temperatures. I wrote earlier that global warmalists would try to paint the trend as a dip in the overall warming trend, which is a valid enough hypothesis. But to call a 20 to 25 percent loss of all the heat gained in the last 30 years in only three years "a small fraction" or "a little dip" is a gross mischaracterization. The graph of this trend would look like the 2000 stock market crash, except the market hasn't stopped crashing yet.

To confuse matters, instead of talking about their own research, the scientists talked about others' reports on sea levels still rising, when a temperature decrease would have a negative thermal expansion. But water has different expansive properties at different temperatures. In fact, between 0 and 4 degrees Celsius, water actually decreases in volume as its temperature increases. So, tying sea levels' rise or fall to an average temperature is too simplistic.

The next thing the story does is associate the sea level rise to glacial and ice melt since thermal expansion certainly couldn't account for it. Really. To support this wobbly stick, they cite this story on the Antarctic ice sheets losing mass. Those data were taken using gravimetric measurements only and did not take into account any volumetric or other pressure-variable measurements. You can read the evisceration of this study here. In fact, sea ice coverage around Antarctic has been increasing.

The rest of the LiveScience story is the usual twaddle about needing more research, which is so obviously true. There was so much spin attached to this story to minimize the data's impact on climate change theories. This much cooling of the ocean has a WTF? effect on all currently popular climate models, and nothing should minimize that.

California Sues Automakers over Global Warming

These are the kind of stories I hate. What California has done with this lawsuit is to combine three things that I hate into one event: 1) Use of unproved science in policy decisions; 2) Waste of public resources in pursuing a junk lawsuit; and 3) Choosing unwise environmental policy decisions to discourage businesses from operating locally and hurting economic growth. Now, if California had chosen to pursue the carmakers for not curbing tailpipe emissions on SUV's and increasing smog, because these vehicles were designated as light trucks, when they were, in reality, just big cars, I could get behind that. But to hold carmakers liable for global warming because of greenhouse gas emissions is disgustingly cynical, political, and stupid.

First, the carmakers had no emissions standards to guide them, so prosecuting them civilly for an unknown standard does not pass the sniff test. Second, their are no studies to show that the contribution of carbon dioxide by cars in California actually increased the temperature only in our state. Atmospheric gases affect the entire planet, with some regions more succeptible to the climate change, not just the emissions in some local region. So this lawsuit also shows a fundamental ignorance on how climate change models work in relation to anthropogenic greenhouse gas increases. If anthropogenic global warming is correct, tailpipe emissions in China would affect California too, but the lawsuit is not going after automakers there. Third, greenhouse gas emissions mainly come from power plant generation from coal, oil, and natural gas. Car emissions are nowhere near any large minority of the total.

The carmakers are right to call this a nuisance suit, and this case will get dismissed, with prejudice, at the federal level, just as a case in New York was. Meanwhile, California wastes money on the legal proceedings. Disgusting.

 

Update: This report from the AFP gives a good rundown on the challenges the lawsuit faces.

Life Imitates Bad Comedy

In a story that mimics bad NBC sitcom throwaway characters, a man has been arrested for impersonating a retarded man, and then fondling home healthcare nurses. Part of his schtick was needing his diapers changed. Able people pretending to be retarded has been the plot of The Ringer; an episode of South Park where Cartman joins the Special Olympics; and on Just Shoot Me, where Elliot's brother, slow Donnie, has pretended to be retarded for over 20 years because he was lazy. I have to retract one thing: that episode with Donnie wasn't bad comedy, that was genius!

More Women Scientists or Fewer?

When I studied in the astonomy and physics departments at Berkeley, women were very definitely the minority. In an upper division class of about 20, we would usually have only 2 or 3 women at the most. That's why I was very interested in this Newsweek story about women increasing in numbers in physics at Berkeley. Not just because I loved reading about LeConte Hall and the basement of Birge, and feeling all nostalgic. That nostalgia is about the only reason I can get through the whole movie Junior, and why I liked Hulk better than I should.

But I was interested in that story because yesterday, the National Academies released a shrill report that women in America are losing ground to their male counterparts in the hard sciences. Now, to be fair, the Newsweek story only looks at a few campuses and reports on their programs to support women faculty and grad students. In fact, it looks like Berkeley's tenure programs address exactly the concerns in the National Academies report: "women faculty members are generally paid less and promoted more slowly, receive fewer honors, and hold fewer leadership positions." The report tried to discount any biological differences between men and women in their analytical abilities, and instead pointed toward some vague language of the problems being "rooted in our society's traditions and culture."

Berkeley appears to be taking on some of these issues of tradition and culture head on by bluntly addressing the question of family and pregnancy. Women have often had to discount science as a career because grad and post-grad programs take almost a decade of education and research beyond college, which happen to be the prime child-bearing years for most women. If the steady output of research is not done during this time, tenure-track faculty positions become almost impossible to compete for. Even taking a year away from research to have a baby puts researchers in a hole they cannot climb out of, which is one stark example of the systemic bias against women in the sciences. Berkeley offers a "tenure-clock extension" hiring practice, and other family-friendly options for women with young families.

So, the National Academies report seems dire, but perhaps the leading campuses in the sciences, such as Berkeley and MIT, can also lead the way in acknowledging the objective differences between men and women in our society.

Short People Got No Reason

America used to have the tallest average height among all the nations, up until the 1950s. The tall among the tall, since then, have been the Dutch. Now, they're even taller than before. Why the decline in America? I blame immigration, but I'm sure there's a study out there to prove me a bigot. As the offspring of an American anglo-mutt and a filipina, let's just say I'm nowhere near the average height of the Dutch. Seriously, there are some tall dutch people if the average height is just over 6 feet tall. So, to celebrate their new achievement, they should change their national anthem, and Randy Newman has a suggestion:

Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
To live

They got little hands
And little eyes
And they walk around
Tellin' great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet

Well, I don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
Round here

Short people are just the same
As you and I
(A fool such as I)
All men are brothers
Until the day they die
(It's a wonderful world)

Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody
To love

They got little baby legs
And they stand so low
You got to pick 'em up
Just to say hello
They got little cars
That got beep, beep, beep
They got little voices
Goin' peep, peep, peep
They got grubby little fingers
And dirty little minds
They're gonna get you every time
Well, I don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
'Round here

Vino at the Vuelta

Finally, some good news for Alexandre Vinokourov at a Grand Tour as he won the Vuelta a España on Sunday. Of course, living in America, I did not see a lick of TV coverage, but that's a rant for another day. If it weren't for the Operacion Puerto investigation, and the poor way it has been handled so far, Vinokourov, and his entire team, would have been able to compete in the Tour de France. Five of his Astana-Wurth team mates were implicated in the spanish doping investigation, which left Vino's team without enough riders to compete, so he was out too. Then those five team members were cleared the week after the Tour de France ended. The Tour, as it was, was exciting anyway, because it seemed nobody wanted to win it, until the final week with Floyd Landis' gutsy, and perhaps tainted, performances in the alpine stages. But what if Vino were in the mix? The Kazakh is fearless and we know that he will even attack his own team mates to win mountain stages like he did last year when he was on T-Mobile. At least he got some vindication with his performance in the Vuelta.

Team Discovery Channel also made up for their disappointing showing in the Tour de France, showing their weakness in the post-Armstrong era, by winning the Team prize. And Egoi Martinez won the King of the Mountain prize, which made this Vuelta a very successful one. So, there is hope after all, but they better choose a big boy soon. The signing of Levi Leipheimer will make things very interesting for Discovery next year, and hopefully Levi will break through with the superior support and technology that Discovery uses during training and races.

Floyd Landis made an appearance on the final day to support his former team mates on Phonak, and maintained his innocence. I have not written much after the investigation went to the USADA, which is the only body that can strip Landis of his Tour de France title. It really is all up to the lawyers now.

Cyberstalking and Blogging

With the recent dustups this summer between bloggers, from L'Affaire Frisch to sock-puppetry a la Glenn Greenwald, the term "cyberstalking" has been tossed around a lot. This makes a Fox News story concerning cyberstalking pretty relevant, especially with kids going back to campus. It's not just sneaking around people's houses or places of work these days that qualify for stalking, but also finding their online presences and harrassing them there. Here's a good description of what we're talking about from the story: "Cyberstalkers frequently follow their targets around the Net, frequenting in chat rooms, message boards, newsgroups or mailing lists in which the target participates." If the target "fights back" by seeking out the stalker, then prosecution can be troublesome.

Especially in Frisch's case, there appears to be much that a good defense attorney can turn around on her targets, but since she operated a blog, it is not as if others were hunting her down as she moved from online place to place. Also, reposting non-private communication in more public venues does not appear to be a form of harrassment, otherwise other sources of media would face many legal challenges, when political candidates are not wise in how they choose their words at a fundraiser as opposed to a press conference.

So, in the cases of sock-puppeting or Frisch's repeated threats to write child pornography using the children of several bloggers as her characters, which is the clearer case of cyberstalking and harrassment? In all the cases of sock-puppetry, the claims of stalking come from ferreting out the identity of the sock-puppet. But is comparing timestamps of comments with the IP addresses that leave them, the same as stalking? Let's look at a couple of definitions of cyberstalking:

The Department of Justice defines cyberstalking as: "The use of Internet, e-mail or other electronic communications devices to stalk another person."

Stalking activities were described as "following a person, appearing at a person's home or place of business, making harassing phone calls, leaving threatening message or objects or vandalizing a person's property."

George Mason University in Virginia defines stalking as "any behaviors or activities occurring on more than one occasion that collectively instill fear in the victim, and or threaten his or her safety, mental health or physical health."

Clearly, identifying sock-puppets does not fall into any area of stalking. Privacy issues may intrude into these activities, but not stalking. As in the case of Frisch, can it be said that her detractors are stalking her? If the comments left at her own blog are any indication, the answer is no. Any "threats" were some very uncommon entreaties to commit suicide. Other "threats" were possibly promising to find her comments on other publicly available message boards, and repost them. However, if the accumulation of messages "instill fear...or threaten his or her... mental health or physical health," then, as I said earlier, a good defense attorney can make something of these claims.

On the other side of the issue of cyberstalking is her own behavior, which is not in doubt. Following others to new or different message boards and threatening them with writing child pornography with their children as the characters, and then asking for money in exchange for not doing it, is obviously stalking, and extortion to boot.

What can we learn from the activities in the blogosphere this summer? First, there is no such thing as privacy online. If you wish your communication to be private, use email, not message boards. If you wish to keep your own identity private, use proxy servers and anonymous email services. The anonymous email service might not protect you in criminal cases, but it is certainly a big wall for private citizens to hurdle. And finally, if you can't handle the consequences of a flame war, don't start one. There really are other people on the other side of your computer screen, and it helps to remember that.

Industrial Metal Theft

No, I'm not talking about stealing Metallica songs on the internet. I'm talking about this Reuters story where villages in France are having their telecom copper cables stolen. This is the kind of story that gets reported in developing nations, but it's happening in a so-called "civilized" nation. Authorities say that thieves are taking advantage of soaring copper prices, but I wonder if these thefts are also attacks against France's infrastructure: "criminals stole copper cables used for railway signaling, disrupting high-speed train traffic between the southwestern city of Bordeaux and Paris." We know that terrorists have already attacked Madrid's and London's public transportation, so could this be something more along those lines? Probably not, but France should definitely increase the security profile on telecom infrastructure targets.

Helmety Custom Messages

Okay, so everyone just stop holding your breath for A Clone Apart. Illusive Entertainment will release it when it's ready, and not a moment sooner. Anyway, here on Helmety Goodness Fridays, we know that we're not just providing entertainment. Most of the time, these little videos are really funny, and as with anything funny, you would like to share the funny stuff with your friends (this message is only for people with friends, anybody else, you're on your own, but then again, you knew that). So, Red vs. Blue put together a little video for you to customize for any situation: voice mail, marriage proposals, alien domination, and imminent nuclear attack. You know, the everyday stuff. And yes, Caboose, the red light means you're recording:

 

"It's time for tough love, scumbag! Now drop and give me twelve steps!"

 

Helmety Goodness Links

For those having trouble finding the helmety goodness, and until Blogger Beta finishes testing so I can make some category tags, here's a list of all the helmety revelry so far.

Update Oct. 20, 2006: YouTube is apparently deleting videos and suspending accounts of anyone posting Red vs. Blue videos, claiming copyright infringement. This is ludicrous since Rooster Teeth posts the videos on the web for free, so I don't see how using YouTube to distribute the videos is infringing on Rooster Teeth. If anything, it's advertising for them. So, many of the links below no longer work. If replacement videos get posted, I will relink them, otherwise, the ones indicated below do not work. I apologize for the inconvenience.

This Spartan Life M33T TEH L33T
A Clone Apart Episode 2 Part 1
Red vs. Blue The Olympics Suck
Red vs. Blue Message to the Engineers at NASA (Gone)
Red vs. Blue Real Life vs. The Internet
Red vs. Blue Cold and Flu Season (Gone)
Red vs. Blue Custom Messages (Gone)
Red vs. Blue Political Ads (Gone)
This Spartan Life Dance Number
A Clone Apart Episode 1 Part 3
A Clone Apart Episode 1 Part 2
A Clone Apart Episode 1 Part 1
Chad Vader Day Shift Manager
TROOPS Stormtroopers, that is
Red vs. Blue Energy Conservation
Red vs. Blue First Episode (LEGO version)

 

Climate Change in Effect

I really love well-written science stories. The best ones present data, maybe show off a diagram or some visual representation of it, draw conclusions, and point towards new avenues of research to confirm their findings. All of these conditions are found in this story about NASA finding proof that the Arctic Sea Ice is diminishing. Using satellite images from 1979 to the present date, they actually prove that the ice cap is shrinking from year to year. There are two studies presented in the story: one that deals only with the total volume of sea ice, and the other that deals with the ratio of perennial sea ice to seasonal ice.

In the first study, researchers found that the overall sea ice coverage is shrinking at an increasing rate, whereas in 1979, there was a loss of 1.5% area loss, in the last two years, there was a loss of 6%. The researchers speculate that increasing temperatures and shorter winters are to blame. There have been other studies that show that summerlike conditions are growing longer by studying the precipitation cycle in North America. I'm not sure whether one can draw the conclusion that the temperature increase is likely due to greenhouse gases.

The other study is more interesting, because it looks at the distribution of perennial ice with regard to seasonal ice. Those researchers are finding that the loss of perennial ice since 1979 has increased from a 9% loss per year to 14% in the last two years. The reasons for this increased loss is not clear, but the team is speculating that there has been a change in wind patterns, pushing the perennial ice to warmer parts of the Arctic Ocean. Their other conclusion is more dramatic in terms of witnessing climate change. Seasonal ice absorbs more heat than perennial ice, instead of reflecting the sun's heat away from the planet. With more seasonal ice in the Arctic, we could see another source of warming develop for the Northern Hemisphere.

Here is a link to animated versions of the two studies' data.

Slowly Moving Toward the Star Wars Universe

Do you remember the scene at the end of The Empire Strikes Back, where Luke Skywalker receives his prosthetic hand? The fingers twitch, the mechanical tendons and muscles contract just by his thought alone. Reality is catching up with science fiction. Doctors and technicians have remapped control functions of Jesse Sullivan's neural electrical signals from his pectoral muscle region to control his prosthetic arm. Out of the 22 discreet arm motor functions, Sullivan has successfully remapped 4: “When I use the new prosthesis I just do things. I don’t have to think about it.” The research was funded by DARPA, who see the prosthetic developments as very hopeful for our returning veterans, many of whom have lost limbs from IED's. Good news for all those who have lost limbs.

Global Warmenizing at its Best

There are a few tactics that the Global Warming crowd likes to use in furthering its goal of policy change and behavior modification. Describing global disaster scenarios is one of them. You start from the presumption that the worst case of the climate change models is true, and then extrapolate consequences from them. These are not science stories. These are Discovery Channel productions like "When the Comet killed the Dinosaurs," or something like that. Mass extinction is one of the great scenarios what-if science stories like to trot out, just like this one.

First, state your doomsday device; the lede will do nicely: "Thousands of plant species are being pushed to the brink of extinction by global warming, and those already at the extremes are in the greatest danger." This is an important sentence because it has both the words "extinction" and "extreme" in it, so you better believe it!

Next, throw down your global warming cred: "leading botanist [...] Paul Smith, head of Britain's Millennium Seed Bank." He's a leading(!) botanist according to... this story!

Now, wail your impassioned plea to do something, before it's too late: "Smith's team is on target to have sorted and stored seeds from 10 percent of the world's plant species by 2010 in a race against time." If the habitats change due to climate change, what's the point of this? You can't just willy-nilly transplant foreign species into new habitats. That would be "interfering" with nature!

Give us a little something to "prove" how serious this is: "[O]n Robinson Crusoe island off Chile scientists found there had been eight extinctions in just the past decade." Eight out the known 242,000 world species. It's a race against time!

Make sure you put in that evil, evil industry is to blame: "[G]lobal temperatures rise due to burning fossil fuels for transport and power." Because we've already proved this, just ask Al Gore!

Throw in a "fact" that is easy to check but don't let the details get in the way of the message: "[T]he drylands of the world which cover 40 percent of the earth's surface." Land covers 29.2% of the earth's surface. But we don't have time to fact-check the Millenium Seed Bank's press release, because it's a race against time! Update: For clarification: drylands make up 40% of the earth's LAND surface, which is not apparent in the article (h/t to reader Petrarchan_Motif).

Finally, stick in something about how this affects YOU: "While drought stress and pest attack [in England] was starting to cripple some indigenous species, dry climate trees like Eucalyptus from Australia, Turkish Hazel and the Sweetgum from the United States were finding the new growing climate very much to their liking." See, the drought is caused by Global Warming, because it's hot, and it's been going on for a few years, and IT MAY NEVER STOP! See, just sticking your head out your window in hot weather, and you can FEEL the global warming. It's real, people, and WE DID IT TO OURSELVES!

So, is this a science story? No. This is straight up propaganda. And what's worse, it is the official position of the British government: "Climate Change Minister Ian Pearson said scientists predicted that in Britain alone rainfall would have halved by 2080." "Scientists" predicted this, without names, without quotes, without citing a published paper. But you have to believe it, because the scientists who agree with "us," said it.

British Parents Have No Responsibility

Concerned Educators and Health Officials: "Screw off, parents. Big Mummy Government will take care of your children." Here's the money quote:

In an open letter to the Daily Telegraph, 110 teachers, psychologists and children's authors -- including the internationally acclaimed author Philip Pullman and Penelope Leach, a leading childcare expert -- called on the government to act now to prevent childhood being killed off altogether. [Emphasis added]

No mention what role parents might play in changing this junk culture. I guess, to these 110 people, it's not the parents' worry. Calling British socialism a nanny state is an understatement.

Helmety Badness?

I've always been a good little cyclist, wearing my helmet no matter how far I'm going, and one of my helmets actually prevented a serious head injury as I crashed down a mountain road, cracking the helmet in two places. I've also been seriously pissed off as I see little kids wearing their helmets as they ride around the safe track around the Rose Bowl, while their father does not. That's a hypocritical message that should not be sent. But what if wearing a helmet actually increased your chances of getting into an accident? According to a study done by an avid cyclist, it does just that.

According to Ian Walker, a researcher in the pyschology department at the University of Bath, wearing a helmet while riding a bicycle made passing cars come closer by 3.3 inches. On a narrow street without a bike lane and parked cars, inches matter. He also found that when he wore a blonde wig, cars gave him 5.5 more inches of space. There's gender perception and biases at work for you! What I also found interesting was that he was struck by vehicles twice during his research, both times while wearing a helmet. Walker's conclusion about the results is that drivers perceive the "lycra-clad street-warriors" wearing helmets as more predictable in their movements, thus able to accomodate less room while passing.

So, am I a lycra-clad street warrior who will give up his helmet? To that, I reply:

 

PHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBT!!!

 

My Computer Says Humans Make Hurricanes Stronger

Oh, but that real life stuff, who cares? This is the entire summation of an article published yesterday in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. This guy turned back the clock on 22 climate models, plugged in the numbers as if the Industrial Revolution never happened, and concluded that only the addition of human-related fossil fuel pollution could raise ocean temperatures by one degree, which some other climate scientists have theorized instensify hurricane strength. So we take a what-if scenario inside a computer program, and we prove another what-if scenario, that average ocean temperatures have risen, increasing the number of strong hurricanes. And this warrants news coverage? The only thing you need to read in the article is the last sentence: "Santer and his colleagues did not address the historical hurricane intensity record." Santer's group also ignored reality because ocean temperatures have actually dropped in the last two years.

But that doesn't matter to the media, because some scientist, somewhere, said global warming is happening because people did all that icky polluting. That's what matters. What matters to me, and to good science, is that this study has no predictive value or even descriptive value. The study does not predict how many hurricanes of a certain strength will occur, and doesn't even match the historical record of hurricane intensity. All that work does nothing. It is a total waste of research funding.

Welcome to Minor Planet 134340

Once astronomers make up their mind, they work quick. The Minor Planet Center renamed Pluto and its satellites 134340 and 134340 I, 134340 II, and 134340 III. Other trans-neptunian bodies received their inmate numbers too, but accompanying the assignments was an official announcement:

The MPC also issued a separate announcement stating that the assignment of permanent asteroid numbers to Pluto and other large objects located beyond the orbit of Neptune "does not preclude their having dual designations in possible separate catalogues of such bodies."

This move just cements the IAU vote last month. I don't know about one thing, though: I can't hear 134340 rolling off of Mickey Mouse's tongue as he calls his dog. I guess I just don't like change that much.

September 11th, 2001

On September 11th, 2001, I was awakened by the phone ringing just before 7 AM. It was my brother James, calling to make sure if we were okay.
I asked, "What's up?"
He said, "Turn on the news." He said two planes flew directly into the World Trade Center.
I said, "Holy…" then, "Oh no, oh no, oh no!" The first image I saw was the South Tower falling.

With James on the phone, he quickly caught me up as I watched the replay of the planes hitting the towers. I woke up my parents and we all watched the news together. James said that they were probably going to make everyone go home. I watched the live broadcast as the North Tower fell, as the news cameras gathered at the Pentagon, as the news broke that another plane crashed in Pennsylvania.

James called when he got home from work and my mom's first worry was about any of the tall buildings in Chicago. While on the phone we speculated that it was Islamic terrorism and all the pundits they could throw on the phone or who were already in newsrooms all pointed at bin Laden as the prime suspect. We knew that we were at war. We watched, numbed, as the death toll rose along with the missing. At one point, the suspected number was over 15,000. I saw live coverage of Tower 7 collapse.

What I most remember that night, was that even ESPN, Comedy Central, and MTV were carrying the news coverage.

The Older Dad Chronicles

I've written before about my father and the things I discover about the aging process as he gets older. There's the shoe lace incident and my brother wrote about the key card incident. Now there's a calendar date incident. My mother has been on vacation in Hawaii this last week, and it's been a real vacation for her because my dad did not go with her. If you ever meet my dad, you will see where his children got their biting humor as they talk about other family members. He's also a very nice man, but being out in public with him has its drawbacks. Every new person he meets is immediately his best friend. This is okay for just walking around, but not so nice on the wallet if that person is a salesman, a contractor, or any tradesman. The salesman and contractor see an easy mark, and the tradesman (plumber, repairman, etc.) gets more money because they charge by the hour and my dad doesn't know how to let them just work on what they have to work on, without engaging them in conversation for prolonged periods of time. He needs a minder, which my mom usually fills that role, which is why she had an enjoyable vacation with her cousins this last week.

So, of course, I need to help my dad with picking up one of the cousins and my mom from the airport. I trusted my dad with the dates, and even checked the status of the flight online just using the flight number. At the airport, the flight arrived early, but after a few minutes, it looked like all the people had already debarked and picked up their luggage, and my mom and her cousin had not yet come to the baggage claim. I called my mom's cell phone but my cousin picked up, saying that they were asleep at the hotel. Huh? Did they miss the flight? Why didn't they call? My cousin said their flight was leaving tonight, not yesterday, and would be arriving Sunday morning. What the...?

After hanging up, I asked my dad for the flight info. In my mother's handwriting, under the date Sept. 9, was the departing time. Below that, in the wee hours of the morning, was the arrival time. My dad had interpreted the date applying to the arrival time. We were 24 hours too early. So how did I miss this when I checked the flight status? The flight is a daily flight, same flight number, with the same departure and arrival times, everyday. I had no idea that I had to confirm the date too. I believe my dad still blames my mom for writing the date "wrong." If you've read about the shoe lace incident, you'll understand that now I have to add a few more questions to "the ritual."

Helmety Goodness Political Ads

So, while we're all waiting for the next episode of A Clone Apart, take a look at how the Red vs. Blue guys handle their own elections. I believe having a strong platform and publishing made-up quotes about your opponent is the bedrock of our political process. Also, sno-cones are tasty!

 

"Choose the Choice of Choosiness"

 

New Way of Saying: "Unavailable for Comment"

Yesterday, I linked to a story about a burlesque show disrupting a climate science forum in Australia. Now there are calls for an investigation into who was responsible for booking the entertainment after two federal government agencies have withdrawn funding for future conferences. A professor at the Australian National University has been identified as the one who hired the dancers, but when called upon for comment, his office answered with this: "Mr Hutchinson was meditating this morning and unavailable for comment." So, how long will this meditation session last? Probably not long enough for the media coverage to blow over.

Less Porn, More Work

As time moves forward, as it inevitably does, our conceptions of the world around us, sadly, become misconceptions. Why this reverie for changing world-views? It has come to my attention that the internet is not used for finding new avenues to free porn as much as it was in the 1990's. My conception, that information technology development was fueled by pornography and video game publishing, has been severely shaken. The male geek no longer roams the virtual world homogeneously, but must now contend with the strange new species, "woman," as she searches for "people, travel, places, computers and the internet, health, education, [and] entertainment." It was my view that data compression research and development came from the desire to see more pictures and streaming video of naked women than for sharing information and knowledge. Video game engine design drove the need for faster processing chips, although that's just what the NSA and university math departments might have wanted us to believe, for their own nefarious ends. According to Professor Amanda Spinks: "Back in the 90s, it was probably young male geeks, but now the demographics are changing with mums and dads, kids, grandmas and business people all searching the web." So, male geek, your IT power has been cut in half, but I say, maximize your remaining power by slashing demons, boosting cars, tackling quarterbacks, and always, always hump your kill-tacular triple kill.

Are Climate Scientists Humorless Prudes?

I'm not quite sure what to make of this, but Australian and New Zealand climate scientists walked out during their forum's concluding ceremonies dinner when a burlesque troupe "revealed" themselves as the night's entertainment. It appears as if the inappropriateness of having a burlesque show at a government sponsored conference was the only thing all the scientists agreed on. Perhaps the dancers raised the temperature of the room by more than one degree per century and caused more than a glacial melt? Sadly, no pictures accompany the story.

Teenagers Are Brain Damaged

One my favorite comedy bits comes from Bill Cosby as he talks about his children and their motivation to do stupid things. After they answer his questions of "Why?" with "I don't know!" Bill exclaims, "These are brain damaged people!" A new study using functional MRI scanning confirms this.

Well, not that teenagers have brain damage, but that the areas of the brain associated with decision making are not fully developed before puberty, but develop during adolescence. The researchers found that the adolescents used two areas of the brain, instead of just the one area in the prefontal cortex, which adults use. The prefontal cortex is also associated with empathy, or taking on the perspective of the other. As the teenagers grow older, the decision making and empathic practices become increasingly associated with the prefontal cortex and the other region near the back of the brain diminishes. Accordingly, decision response times also decreased. Decision making, it seems, has a biological development aspect as well as an individual's reconciliation of the self-system with experience. The study concludes that "it is just not hormones that are causing teenagers to be their typical selves it could also be the fact that their brains are developing as well," according to Dr Sarah Blakemore, a neuroscientist at University College London.

This research leads to questions about our legal system and the circumstances in which children are tried as adults. The legal definition of having the capacity to tell right from wrong is different than the more nuanced version psychologists would use. Also, the notion of consent in sexual contexts involving teenagers is another topic affected by the ramifications of the brain scan study. Could it be, that we have to treat children as children?

Weird Science and Bad Science Reporting

There are a few factors that should be included in every science article in the media to reinforce the fact that science is not just a bunch of differing opinions that scientists vote on which one they like best. The scientific method works in four steps: observe, hypothesize, experiment, reproduce results. Without following these steps, theories in science are just interesting ideas, unexplained results, or metaphysics. Where most research gets hung up these days is the last step: reproduce results. This is why research papers published in peer-reviewed journals should be reported on as a science story, anything else is a human interest story, like this story: Weird science annoys boffins.

The story sets up the "science establishment" as the oppressors trying to keep the "truth" of paranormal research away from interested eyes. What is not mentioned is that these "research papers" were not published in peer-reviewed journals, any psychological or neurological journal would do, and that there have been no reproduceable results on these anecdotal studies on telepathy and life after death. The last line of the story gives away all the bias you need to know about the reporter: "Others said the panel's lack of balance was like inviting creationists to address the prestigious meeting without an opposing view from evolutionary biologists." So, you see, the science establishment lacks balance, a diversity of viewpoints, because they prefer their science to be based on objective reality instead of subjective opinion. Also, these mysterious "others" have no name, no direct quotes, or even a "did not wish to be identified." I prefer to think these "others" are the political correct voices in the reporter's head. Of course, I can't prove anything, but I'm sure The Australian's editorial staff would welcome my opinion as a show of balance.

"Winebot! Is this a Shiraz or a Pinot?"

 

I'm not so sure about this device: a robot that can identify a wine label. The robot can only be progammed to recognize a few dozen labels, and it has problems with wine bottles that have already been opened and begun to breathe. But at least the robot is cute, right?

Fat Babies Usually Means Fat Kids

If you have an overweight 2 year old, chances are that you will have an overweight 12 year old, at least 60 percent of the time, according to a latest study funded by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. I hate studies like these that confirm common anecdotal experiences. What's worse, the study relied on the use of the BMI (Body Mass Index) which doesn't work very well for women, children, short people, or those with muscular frames. At least the researchers recognize this and only used the BMI's results for the extremely obese, those above the 85th percentile of the average BMI by age group. So, parents, you can stop blaming vending machines full of soda, at least 60 percent of the time, for having a fat teenager. And, that kid is not big-boned, that kid is fat.

 

"Well, I'm pissed off, Rick. How are you?"

 

Sad News: Steven Irwin Dies From Stingray Barb

This truly is sad news, Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin died today in an accident at sea, at the age of 44, while filming a documentary on stingrays. Known mainly for his antics on his television show The Crocodile Hunter, he leaves behind a wife, 2 children, the Australia Zoo operations, and 2 animal welfare foundations. Although I was not a fan of his show, I appreciated his efforts for wildlife management and preservation. The Australia Zoo suffered a much less tragic loss when one of the Galapagos tortoises present at Charles Darwin's expedition to the islands died earlier this summer.

Landis, the French, and German Tourists

Get Fuzzy just about sums up all my feelings regarding Floyd Landis, the Tour de France, the French, and German tourists.

 

 

Post Plugging Saturday

I'm going to do one thing that I never do and one thing that I always do for today's post. First, I will link to a previous post. Yay! Look at my previous brilliance and weep. Or not. Second, I will link to a story in the Los Angeles Times. I swear, this will be the last time I do that. Okay, what am I talking about? On Thursday, I wrote about this stupid Global Warming bill that our Republican governor has promised to sign. I wrote that the consequences of this act will drive businesses out of California and increase energy bills for consumers. An LA Times reporter wrote a story that agrees with me, until the halfway mark before devolving into a discussion on alternative energy sources and presenting, without any proof, that California's average temperature will increase 7 - 10 degrees by 2070. Hey, it's the Los Angeles Times, what do you expect? Just read all the stuff up to the market-based emissions trading. After that part, the rest of the story got hijacked by some froth-mouthed global warmenizer.

Helmety Goodness Friday

The Illusive Entertainment guys are working on the next episode, so no Danson this week. However, just to keep you guys occupied, here's a new bunch producing This Spartan Life. Have you wondered what it would feel like if a music video just exploded right in front of you? Now how about if grenades and rocket launchers were involved? Oh, and aliens in armor?

 

"Who's That?" featuring the Solid Gold Elite Dancers